I'm Frightened

Halloween is right around the corner and I'm frightened. No, its not because of the skeletons, witches and ghouls that come out around the 31st. I'm terrified because I just heard 'The Monster Mash' on the radio and I know that I am going to be hearing that graveyard smash for the next five days until I want to drive my car into a pole just to avoid it.

But that's the not the only thing that scares the living shit out of me. I've noticed an onslaught of television commercials that pit children as the gatekeepers of everything I ought to know and understand. One spot has a five year old expounding financial concerns to his parents at two in the morning, mascaraing as a nightmare, until his parents ease his concerns that they are covered by the perfect financial brokerage house and covered by the right insurance. If I'm being honest with you, I have no fucking idea about insurance nor do I have any idea if my assets are safe and my financial security sound. If the goal of this commercial was to make me feel like a mental midget, guess what, it wins. The fact that a five year old knows more than me about insurance, let alone possesses the vocabulary to express his concerns, leaves me feeling a tad insecure about the path I've led so far in life.

Do me a favor Madison Avenue, feed me some pitch men that I can listen to. If you want to sell me some financial services give me some middle age guy wearing a pin stripe suit with glasses telling me what an loser I am for not paying attention to my future. Call me old fashion, but, yes, I want the stereotypes. They make me feel warm and fuzzy as I blow right past them with my Tivo.